She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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