As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
