Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
