We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
