I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
