I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize