Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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