why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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