That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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