She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
