She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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