epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
