How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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