Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
