Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
