there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
