Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
