it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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