She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
