So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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