she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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