well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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