Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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