It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Someone came in the potted fern
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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