I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
