Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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