...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it because I queefed?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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