Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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