dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She even gives head with a lisp.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
