You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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