I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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