I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
