I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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