Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
