Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
