He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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