Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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