On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
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Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize