what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
