Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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