dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
