I just cut my nipple shaving
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I could fuck to npr.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
