I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
