Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's just like the Real World with babies
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
