Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize