Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
