At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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