Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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