Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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