oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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