Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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