How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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