went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize