PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
