There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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