so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize