I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
