and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
