Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
