and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
